J.C. Newton

Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I stand up;
You understand my thoughts from far away.
You observe my travels and my rest;
You are aware of all my ways. (Ps. 139:1-2)

Does anybody really know you? Not just know of you but actually know you?

I went through a long period of my life in which I desperately longed to be known by people — to be liked, to be encouraged, to be a dear friend. As a single man, I wanted to share my life with someone special. Whenever I’d go on a solo vacation and see something cool, my heart ached with a painful desire to turn to my someone special and tell them what I thought or how I felt or, just to share that moment with someone. I longed to be known and, in a deeper way, I longed to be loved in the truest way, the way that only comes when someone deeply knows you.

However, I also went through a long period of life in which I desperately didn’t want to be known — to be exposed, to be criticized, to have my darkest secrets revealed to anyone but myself. There is fear in rejection and that fear will often drive a soul to run away and hide. I wanted people to know me but… not too well. You know?

I find that there is a mixture of great fear and great relief in being known. On one hand, having your personality, thoughts, emotions and behaviors exposed can be freeing to the soul. There is no need for hiding. You’re out in the open. At least one other person knows you well enough that you don’t have to pretend. You can be yourself. On the other hand, being vulnerable is… well, one of the most uncomfortable feelings a person can face in this world of sin.

For example, when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, they had no reason to hide anything. No reason to fear. No reason for shame or worry of rejection. They walked with God in the garden and being known was the most amazing thing they would have experienced. God likely considered them friends. He created them for fellowship, after all. But after they sinned, Genesis 3 tells us that they were afraid and they hid from God. Being known was no longer the relief that once was! Now sin brings fear. And being vulnerable makes every one of us, to an extent, want to hide parts and pieces of who we are. It’s a product of the Fall — of our sinful natures.

Many of us experienced this vulnerability when we were dating (pre-marriage). Finding a wife was a very tough experience for me. On one hand I wanted to be known by my date and to be liked. But I was careful to withhold myself at first. I didn’t want her to know too much. In fact, I struggled with exactly what doors of my life I wanted to open to her. What did I want her to know? What was perfectly acceptable? What needed explanation? What would she understand? How… vulnerable do I want to be? I wanted to be known but…

It’s hard enough to be fully known by a human being, but what about by God? Is there a difference in how you feel about having all things laid bare before the Almighty? Is it comforting? Is it scary? Is it some strange mixture of both?

In Psalm 139, David speaks of the amazement of being known by God. He declares, “You have searched me and known me. You understand my thoughts from far away. You are aware of all my ways. You have encircled me. Where can I flee from Your presence?” He sees God as being all-everything — all knowing, all perceiving, all present, etc. In a way this is David’s confession. It is a surrender of his privacy; an admission that nothing can be hidden from God.

Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I stand up;
You understand my thoughts from far away.
You observe my travels and my rest;
You are aware of all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue,
You know all about it, Lord. (vv. 1-4)

The Lord searches mankind. He scans our hearts and minds like some sort of cosmic spiritual MRI. He knows us. This knowledge is David’s first point of his psalm. God knows me! He knows my:

• Mundane actions
• Thoughts
• Travels
• Sleep
• Habits & Behaviors
• Words

It’s as if God has circled all around David, like a horse-bound posse encamps around a suspected criminal. His gig is up. His life is laid bare. The con is over. He is known. This fact blows David’s mind (v. 6). How is it possible? I don’t understand how it is possible! The omnipresence of God is beyond human understanding. God is present everywhere. There is no successful hiding! We can convince ourselves that we’re keeping secrets from God but it is merely an illusion of self-deception. He already knows. Scary, right? Freeing, right?

Where can I go to escape Your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your presence? (v.7)

Truth is, God exists everywhere. His presence fills the heavens and the earth. Closets and cubbyholes. Comets and black holes. David confesses, “If I wait for nightfall to make my movements, you see me. If I go to the farthest place I can travel on land, you are there. If I donned a spacesuit and drifted to the outermost place of space, you are there. Even if I die and go to the place of the dead, you are somehow there!”

But being known by God isn’t just about what you cannot hide from Him. It isn’t just about His being present everywhere. Being known by God means that He has seen your life from the moment it was conceived. Even more! He created you and I as special works of his.

For it was You who created my inward parts;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well. (vv. 13-14)

God is our Creator. Our Creator knows us intimately. I find these verses to be especially powerful and comforting. God created me from the inmost place to the outer shell. In my mother’s womb He formed me, genetics and all. You and I were remarkably and wonderfully made! Read that again. You were remarkably and wonderfully made! God’s works are wonderful. That includes you. God doesn’t make junk. He doesn’t have accidents of creation. He didn’t make someone less than fully remarkable just because He didn’t have a second cup of coffee in the morning. Even people born without an arm or legs or super-curled lips or a speech impediment or a weak heart… every human being conceived was made intentionally and considered to be wonderful in God’s eyes.

How should this knowledge influence how you see other people? Is there dignity to life in your eyes?

One more thing. Being known by God is more than His seeing your faults or habits or screw-ups. Where there might be only fear and shame and regret there is another side to being known. It is this:

“God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!” (Romans 5:8)

Despite knowing you and I inside and out, God still desired to love us and chose us for Himself. He wanted you! He loves you still! It is a love that supersedes our faults. And He gives us His grace through his Son, Jesus Christ, every day so that we can live as free men and women.

He knows us. We are known. And we are loved.

“For I am persuaded that not even death or life,
angels or rulers,
things present or things to come, hostile powers,
height or depth, or any other created thing
will have the power to separate us
from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord! (Rom 8:38-39)”

Love. This is what makes being known a relief to the soul. God knows us, so we have nothing to hide, meaning we can rest in the love of God and have the freedom that He provides. We can be free in being known.

Are you enjoying that freedom today?

Be God’s.