Here’s a new one: I’m blogging while laying on a decompression table getting my lower back stretched…

Seriously. At Village Chiropractic in Highland Village. For more than a year my dear friend, Dr. Mark Gundlach, has been helping me get more mobility and functionality in my back, which has been stressed and contorted constantly during my young life. Apparently sitting down in front of a computer and eating doughnuts are bad for the ole spine. So that’s why I’m blogging while lying on my back, staring at the ceiling when not looking at my iPhone to tap little letters into complete sentences.

This decompression table is an interesting device. It’s a flat table with a separating table top. Looks harmless, save for the leather straps, velcro and cone of silence. Just kidding about the leather. I think it’s plastic. Or Gortex. With a grin on his face, my captor… err… doctor strapped me down and then started the electronic device. It’s been pulling me apart for almost 15 minutes now. I can almost see my belly button. If I didn’t have a tight restraint holding me down, restricting my breathing and making me wish I hadn’t refused to eat my gruel. Err… hadn’t messed up my spine so badly in the first place. You know, 200 years ago such a contraption as this would’ve been considered a torture device. You know, one of those racks with levels stretching from 1 to 10 and a big metal crank. Because I like to tease my best bud, I decided to have some fun with the situation. As Mark marched me into the dungeon, I swore that no matter what he did to me, I wasn’t gonna talk. As he strapped me down, I only gave my name, rank and serial number. He just rolled his eyes, started the decompression motor and walked away.

So be it. I can endure this…

Postscript — When I got up off the table I told Mark he’d have to go to level 10 before I squealed. I think I heard a chuckle. Mission accomplished. I caught the enemy off guard…err… I thanked my best friend because the table actually felt kinda good. We’ll progressively add more weight to the pulling part of the table so that the curves in my back are lessened a bit. Doing so will hopefully reduce some of the deterioration of my vertebrae, lessen the pressure on my discs, and add a bit to my height. Or so I hope. It’s worth a shot. I’m 34 with the back of a 60-year-old. Anything helps! And Mark has been a major blessing to my life with his skill, patience, and knowledge of medieval torture. Err… modern chiropractic healing machines.