Coming Into a Fortune

What would the world be like if everyone lived their lives according to that little slip of paper inside a fortune cookie? I mean, who doesn’t like smashing a fortune cookie into a kazillion shards? It’s like Christmas Day! And that slip of paper contained int he middle? Who doesn’t want to know what it says? After all, this time… it might come true!

Well, I visited my favorite local fast-food Chinese restaurant today (name withheld pending potential sponsorship… contact me!) and got two fortune cookies with my meal. I’m always curious to see what the cookies contain, more for amusement than actual prophecy. Here were my two:

“You will gain admiration from your peers.”

“You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.”

Ladies and gentlemen, I think I shall become a pirate. Arrgh.

— Pirate Jean


P.S. — Just realized pirating is illegal in 230 countries. Does anybody want to pay me to travel around the world instead? Thought I’d ask.